Saturday, January 30, 2010 @ 10:49 PM
Screwed.
I slept from 5am - 8pm today.I hate my life. Really really hate it.
Friday, January 29, 2010 @ 12:20 AM
Awesome!
Today, we had SPA, O-levels! (Chem)
I'm positive that I screwed,
but seriously, who gives a fuck.
Well, after SPA,
I trained down t yishun.
T meet Zai & Mike.
Was really fun bullying them (:
Ohhh, I spent $10.20 in mac.
I'm soooo gna get fat this way!
Anyway, these few days,
I've been contacting w this guy,
Nigel. He's like my pri school friend :D
Hahhahaha, most probably gna meet up w him.
SOOONNNN.
Anw, meeting mario for a movie on saturday.
tml, should be meeting nigel after church.
Aw wells, I'm so bloody busy,
I don't give a damn for school.
I rather have fun now.
Who cares if I suffer next time. (:
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 @ 12:53 AM
Giving you face.
Hey, guess what. I think you're a total jerk. & a man-whore. All my friends agree w me 100%. You're selfish. And you only care about yourself. When people care about you, you just expect them t care. Like, so totally ungrateful. And, you treat us girls like dirt if they don't do what you want and if they don't give you what you expect of them. You're so totally a man-whore. If one girl doesn't want you, you just search for another girl. So like what, we're your substitutes? We're people who you treat as toys? Or like, you sick of someone then just dump? So like what, you wanted a fucking serious r/s, yeah, RIGHT. SO fucking serious hor. After meeting then didn't care anymore? Jerk. You seriously think you're hot eh. Please, people, what th fuck do you see in this guy? All he does is mess around with people's head. This shit happened like 7 months ago. And here I am again, going through th same old history. Fuck it man.
I so totally wanted t post this on your fb wall t make you lose your entire face. But here I am, play lil miss nice girl. Cause I don't wanna hurt you in anyway. And besides, I wanna leave it as th past from this day on. Really, you piss me off. Totally wasted my time. So wasted my energy. And really, so many lies? Fuck you!
Monday, January 25, 2010 @ 9:31 PM
Messed.
I love you so much, S.
I can't stop.
My phantom S.
Thanks lj for messing my brain.
Thanks for making me feel so wasted.
Thanks you jerk. (:
@ 12:55 AM
For some reason I can't explain.
Well, have been flying t town these few days.
With lanjiao (OMG, HAHAHHAHAHA) and with David. (:
Was out 24/7.
Didn't like being at home.
Oh yeah, it was my confirmation day today. (24012010)
I felt nothing. Honestly. I know God is somewhere.
But, I feel nothing. I just feel this knife. Stabbing through me.
And well, looking at you didn't bring me any emotions.
I felt like I was staring into stone.
So why? Why am I feeling this way?
Anyway, I really think I'm long gone from there.
So, whatever. I mean. Well, its an on and off feeling.
I don't know how t explain it.
Town.. Was boring. I swear.
But well, ytd w lanjiao (HAHA) was like soooo exciting.
Right. He wanted me t post that.
David, he brought back so many fucking memories.
So many shits. So many happy times. :/
(p/s, this is th first "fuck" I've said ever since I deleted all my posts.)
Reached home like, quite late.
SCHOOL TOMORROW ):
Well. He's really nice and sweet and all.
But idk when he'll just hurt me all over again.
Wanted so badly t meet ryni.
But she's like "wtf, idwanna meet you."
Hahhhahhaha. No la, idk (:
(♥)
Thursday, January 21, 2010 @ 3:56 PM
D, I'm sorry ):
Hw could you have left me 7 months ago,
and suddenly say you love me, and you want me.
Do you still rmb why you left me?
You know how dumb I felt?
Being that little girl behind you.
Loving you all th way.
While you, you fucking bastard,
all you did was text other girls.
Hook up with hot babes.
Thats all you did.
And, did you realise, you started th relation SEVEN months ago,
and YOU were th one who ended it?
You know thats a waste of energy?
Waste of my time.
Waste of my love.
I'm sorry.
You now say you're sick of playing with girls.
You now say you want a really serious relationship.
I'm really sorry boy.
I'm not th one.
I've no time.
I really cannot commit t a relation.
I can't.
You hurt me once.
You tore me apart once.
I'm not so naive t let you do it again.
I'm not ready for a relation.
I'm not ready for another roller coaster ride.
I don't care how great th ride would be.
But I'm not ready.
I don't love you.
Not anymore.
You came back way too late.
I waited for you.
One month.
Two months.
Three months.
Four months.
Five months.
I got tired waiting.
You really came way too late.
I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry if I hurt you by being too blunt.
I don't know if you read my blog,
but I'm sorry I can't take you back.
//
Well. I'm going t meet up with my mum later on
t buy clothes for this Sunday.
I'm really excited about Sunday. Strangely.
I thought I wasn't ready.
But I some how feel more than ready.
And, sadly, phys tuition later on.
Some one please text me? (:
-hinthint-
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 @ 10:28 PM
Emily's house!
Let th pictures do th talking (:
She wanted t do a jumpshot.
Well, actually I wanted her t do one.
Hahhaha, but many failed attempts uh.
She jumped, and her phone flew out of her pocket.
(above, she was looking for it!)
Supposed t have cca today, but I skipped it because I really didn't have th mood t go for it. I really felt like meeting up with Emily and reliving th holidays time we spent together. I guess, I relived it (:
Hmm, school, was as usual.
Overslept a little. ):
Ohhhhh, hahahahha,
I burnt my fringe!
I had t cut it off. (:
Alrighttt, bye (L).
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 @ 5:16 PM
Artificial.
I think I have absolutely no life.
Anyway, Jessica Kiara Rajamanicam pissed me off today.
I should have said "Ouch" t her uh.
Hmm, slept during most of physics/chem/A-maths.
Really dk how I'm gonna scrape through t O levels like this.
After school met up w Cecilia, Thinesh, Jayraj, Zhanwang and Khaeruddin.
Then, th four guys left, so me and Cecilia went t Macs t stone.
I really feel so no-life-ish.
Listened t songs, talked about life.
And a little bit about Jernaine (sp?)
Thats all for today uh.
I wish I had a funner life.
I'm waiting for my cousin t come home.
So that I can chat w her.
Oh bloody hell.
I've got hell load of homework piling up.
El, grammar in use, holiday assignment.
Maths, holiday assignment.
A-maths, weekend homework 1 & 2, graph book, holiday assignment.
Physics, ?
Chem, ?
History, ?
Chinese, I don't care.
Last night, was really dumb.
I was bored and really really very shagged
cause I've been sleeping for like 1 hour these few nights.
So, I jumped onto bed.
And lay face down, listening t stupid songs.
And, it was 9pm, I was texting.
And I just fell asleep there and then.
Damn bloody dumb.
And I woke up at 11.57pm.
When I saw th time, I thought it was morning alr.
Cause I completely forgotten whether I slept.
So, I sort of thought I completely missed school.
Hahahhaa, I'm so dumb.
It was like at night.
So yeahhh.
My cousin was on th computer.
I wanted t wait for her t finish using,
then I can go and use.
But, while waiting,
I fell right back asleep again.
Hell. ):
I slept too much uh.
So today I'm super shagged.
I didn't feel like taking public transport.
So I taxi-ed t sembawang t meet Mandy.
I was like in a really bad mood. -,-
Uh, nothing more.
Monday, January 18, 2010 @ 7:47 PM
He's gone and never coming back.
Today sucked. A LOT.
Had like Chinese during th first period. ):
And after that I kept sleeping during Phys.
Honestly, I can't keep my mind off of you.
Everything I do, reminds me of you.
And th smell of your skin still lingers on me.
Th stupid smile you give.
Th loud and gay laughter.
And, th songs you used t play.
Th songs we used t listen.
Th song you wrote for me.
Th song you played for me.
Th times when I cried,
and I called you,
and you were there for me,
t give me a shoulder,
someone t lean on.
Th way you used t tell me,
how much you love me.
Th way you'd do everything t assure me,
that you love me.
And, how could all those just go?
How could it just disappear in such a short time?
We haven't even gone very far yet.
So much we planned t do.
So much you promised me.
Sunday, January 17, 2010 @ 11:10 PM
Stand up?
And so, today was a better day.
I went t church for one.
And well, I talked t Cheryl about all th shits.
I've talked t a hell a lot of people uh.
Anyway, life's like that I guess?
Fall and stand up over and over again.
Cheryl's sisters are really cute.
They kept asking me about sean.
Hahhaah, they were super kaypoh in this v innocent way uh.
Anyway, I really don't feel like blogging.
So yeah, my main purpose of this post?
I don't know.
And, I prayed at church.
Like really prayed until I started crying.
I haven't told God much about my life.
I know he knows.
But still.
Well, goodbye.
@ 3:02 AM
Renewal.
Baby. I really can't do this. I swear, every night I tell myself I can go through this. Every night I tell myself not t wake up crying. Yet, every morning I wake up as though some one pierced a knife into my heart. Every morning I wake up with tears. With hurt so FRESH that it felt like it was just yesterday.
And baby, holding you in my arms yesterday night, it was a step into heaven. I swear. And how nice you smelt. I couldn't stop those tears. I just couldn't control myself. Really, I need you so badly. I walk around places that we've been t together. And th tears just flow. And watching you go, just like this. Watching you go so easily and so suddenly.. It rips my heart right off where it should be.
I've deleted all my blog posts. Basically because so many of them reminds me of you. So many of them remind me... For th time that I've been with you, I felt like my entire world revolved around you. EVERYTHING I did, I thought of you. And watching you smile and laugh everyday as though you don't feel any hurt or any pain, its like reversing th happiness for me. I swear, I never thought things would end this way. If I knew, I'd done everything under my power t change it and t fix it.
I can't sleep tonight. Cause tml I'm gonna see you. And I'm gonna go through th same shit.
(♥)
